Going out tmr.. *smile*

Going out with Pei Ling and Yin tomorrow but dunno why I just don't have that thrill, that excited mood that I usually have whenever I can go out with my friends. Is it because I'm still missing you? is it because I'm still mourning over your loss..? I miss you, a lot, much more than I can bear anymore. I think of you every single moment when I"m awake. I'm not being exaggerating, but this is just the truth. Every single thing around me reminds me of you. I took excessive care when I'm using knife cause you told me you once cut your finger, I make sure I jog almost everyday cause you told me to lose some weight, I stop myself from eating chocolate cause I'm waiting for the chocolate that you have promised to give me, I don't dare to off my phone at night when I sleep just in case you would call me, I reread all the text messages you have sent to me just so that I will not forget you, I dream of you almost every night, hoping we can do whatever things that we have not done yet, every step that I take I can't help thinking of you. I miss you, but why won't you feel the same too? Why won't you just give me a call and crap whatever it is like we used to? Is this really the ending? Can I have the 2nd episode? I don't want to lose you, cause I just can't take the pain..