blast!!!!

last night when i was on the phone with peng hooi i was not in a really good mood thanks to someone named junn mun >.< so my voice didn't sound very friendly but the worst part it i started picking on him and complained that he had been talking non-stop bout utada and it seems like utada is the only topic he wants to talk about. the consequence? i got scolded from peng hooi, saying that i shouldn't act like the whole world owes me something and that i should get rid of my childishness and stop being a big baby! ! but for god's sake, he doesn't even know why i sounded so down when i was talking to him!! oh well, not like he cares anyway. this is the n-th times he's telling me this even though i thought i have already got rid of my immaturity but it seems like no matter how hard i try i'll still be the immature big baby in people's eyes huh? >o< seriously i hate myself for being myself!! when will i ever be able to transform into a real woman?